Individual and Couples Therapy

Individual Therapy

 

I recognize that taking steps to look into individual therapy may mean you’re not in a great place. That is why I hope to provide a safe space for you to process what is feeling most potent and relevant to you.  A safe space means that you feel heard and not judged.  I do not want to be the judge or a decision maker, rather I want to be a process consultant for you. Let’s be curious about your emotional responses, patterns, and behaviors, see where you might be getting stuck, and try to make space for other options.

I have worked with individuals experiencing:

  • symptoms from depression, anxiety/panic, bipolar disorder
  • relational distress from partners, siblings, parents, friends
  • internal conflict and indecision
  • stress from parenting and relationships
  • the impact of addiction for self or loved one
  • the impact of past trauma and PTSD
  • grief and loss, including relationship loss
  • a desire to explore and understand a part of themselves
  • ambivalence and stuckness in their relationship
  • disconnection and loneliness

Feel compelled to do something kind for yourself right now? I highly recommend reading an article or two from this article list on Kristin Neff’s website. Dr. Neff is a psychology professor that researches self-compassion.

 “Self-compassion is treating yourself with the same kindness, care and concern you show a loved one,” Dr. Neff said. “We need to frame it in terms of humanity. That’s what makes self-compassion so different: ‘I’m an imperfect human being living an imperfect life.’” By that definition, self-compassion is the opposite of overconfidence. Admitting we have flaws just like anyone else keeps us connected to others, Dr. Neff said, and also keeps us from exaggerating our flaws or strengths.

 -Excerpt from Why Self Compassion Beats Self Confidence, The New York Times, 12/28/2017

Couples Therapy

When you’re disconnected from your partner, interactions can feel painful, like a minefield, or even lonely. We can get caught in patterns of negative interactions that can be difficult to shift. I’m here to help with that process, to help you both find an exit from those negative cycles, and to build more secure bonds.

Partners will say to me:

No matter how much I try, I can never meet her expectations.

He shuts down in moments I need him the most.

I don’t want to talk because it seems like every time we do, it ends in conflict.

I’m so tired of feeling like the nag in this relationship.

When s/he doesn’t fight back, it just shows how little s/he cares.

I always have good intentions and yet my partner can never see that.

I have worked with couples experiencing:

  • each other as enemies
  • stressors from life transitions such as having a baby, moving, career impacts
  • betrayals such as infidelity and perceived abandonment in key moments
  • fertility challenges
  • lack of sexual connection
  • chronic conflict
  • depression/anxiety
  • grief and loss
  • unresolved past hurts
  • ambivalence about the relationship

I have worked with couples wanting to restore connection, on the brink of separationunsure of separating or staying together, and those wanting to do pre-marital work.

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) is an empirically validated treatment model, created by Dr. Sue Johnson over 25 years ago.  The research outcomes show it’s effectiveness in working with couples.  The model incorporates the neuroscience of attachment and love. And I love working at the intersection of the science of love and emotions and how that plays out in relationships.

Watch this video where Dr. Sue Johnson discusses the MRI study showing how EFT creates secure bonds and soothes the brain.

Goodness of Fit Disclaimer

 There is a possibility we may discover we are not a good fit for working together. The first 4-8 sessions, I will be assessing if EFT and I can be helpful to your relationship. If I determine either EFT and/or myself is not a good fit, I will discuss my concerns with you and provide an appropriate referral.